I am always telling people to "Live in the moment". Well what does that mean exactly? I am not so good at being able to do that myself so who am I to tell someone to do that?
The answer is this: I have no idea.
I try my very best to stay in that moment, and yet it always seems that my past is dragging me down. Or what is worse; my future of the unknown, of what could be, is always clouding my mind. My wishlists, my what ifs, and my why can't my life be better or different. Rather than focusing on what is right in front of me, my brain takes that detour goes elsewhere.
So my life is full of all kinds of wondrous things. I have an amazing husband and wonderful children that I adore. My job is fulfilling for the most part but there are challenges with that as well. I know for me personally, working with criminal offenders that have addictions is incredibly difficult at times. I need to stay on my A game and really be able to focus on self care. I know that for me, when my self care has gone to the wayside I get cranky, mean, snappy, and for the most part people just piss me off. That is when I know I need a break. I have burn out. THAT is what got me back into running.
Running has become my therapy. When I run it is just me. I can focus on how my body is feeling and reacting. I can focus on some of the crap that has clogged my brain and then flush it out. I can be with JUST ME. Running gets me back in the moment.
So why write about it? Well, for starters writing is another self care tool that I use to get some of the sludge out of my head. Also, I believe that writing about my goals will make them more real and tangible. I need that, otherwise it is too easy for me to just brush those goals aside.
So lets talk about goals. Running races is something I have always done but never on a larger scale. Participating in local 5K's and 10K's have been fun and I will continue to do so. I had the opportunity to run in my first half marathon on October 7th. The Diva Half Marathon in Long Island was a blast! That was when I discovered that I am more comfortable and efficient running longer distances.
On October 21st I ran in the CHaD Hero Half Marathon. My head was not in the game that day, but considering the hills on that course I still did alright.
On October 28th I ran in my first mini ultra (so to speak), at the Ghost Train Rail Trail Race. It was a 15 mile trail race in Milford, NH. NOW, with that being said, there were others there running the 100 mile race that had started the day before. The atmosphere was amazing and I quickly found myself craving to run even further. That was when my new goals came to mind. (Oh and I felt amazing running those 15 miles and had a really great race, especially for starting 5 minutes AFTER they blew the whistle to start.)
My new goal thus far for 2013 is this. I WILL run the VT50 in September. As a midway point goal I am registered for the Shires of Vermont Marathon in May. I am sure I will have some other races in between.
So, those are my goals. I am hoping that keeping a written blog about my training and how this new process is going will keep me in check and held accountable. At the very least I will have a place that I can spout off, complain, whine, moan, laugh, and most likely cry.
With that said...Enjoy my ramblings.
Love, peace, and running shoes!